


little girls with dreams

by capcherrycharry



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Be Safe and Skip if this will trigger you, Child Abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Feminist Themes, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Molestation, Sexism, There is no graphic description of the sexual abuse, This Is Not A Kink, and if anybody wants to read this as anything other than the trauma it is, get out and i hope you know you're a disgusting fucking flesh bag, just to be clear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 05:50:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9643334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capcherrycharry/pseuds/capcherrycharry
Summary: Skies are bright, they’re warm, a beacon of light in the darkness, and  always with a flame enough to attract.. . . Even when they really shouldn’t.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic features a fem!Tsuna.
> 
> I've named her Tokumatsu after Tokugawa Tokumatsu. (Tokugawa Tsunayoshi's daughter, who succeeded his royal title of Lord of Tatebayashi.) Seeing as Tokugawa Iemitsu didn't have any daughters that succeeded his royal title (or anyonem really.) and i also really like the name. 
> 
> There wasn't any kanji for the name so I drove myself crazy looking for appropiet kanji, especialy for the 'matsu' part, in the end I came up with this: 斗 空 真 温 
> 
> Which basically reads, a Chinese constellation in the sky, which is genuine and warm, or that's how I interpet it, here's the kanji and their meanings:  
> 1) 斗 (to), which refers to a Chinese constellation  
> 2) 空 (ku) meaning "sky"  
> 3) 真 (ma) meaning "real, genuine"  
> 4) 温 (atsu) meaning "warm"
> 
> I chose the name because it was the one I liked most in the Tokugawa female names available, but all of the kanji I chose for the name have a tie in the story, and I'm honestly really pleased with the outcome. 
> 
> Please note that I do not know Japanese, and that all of the above choices/explanations are from Google searches and/or Wikipedia. The website used for the kanji's is Behind The Name, here's the link: http://www.behindthename.com/names/usage/japanese
> 
> If I make a mistake/do something offensive please take in mind that it is not intentional, and that any and all info on Japan isn't from personal experience/is from Google, i try to check of the accuracy, but it's hard. Please correct me if I put something that's wrong. 
> 
> Also, while I try to be thorough in everything I do, note that this is just for fun and relaxation, it's fanfiction! But seeing as the subject itself is serious (Pedophilia, Rape/Non-con, Authority Abusem etc.) I'm taking this seriously and doing all the research i can. 
> 
> Statistics of Abuse in Japan (from an article on The Japan Times "www.japantimes.co.jp" which was dated Sep 26th, 2015): - Sexual child abuse, numbered 94 (up to %13).  
> \- 2,144 who faced neglect or negligence .
> 
> Extra Notes:  
> \- The age on consent in Japan is 13, however, each prefecture in Japan has independently implemented a law that forbids sex with children under 18.  
> \- The age of majority is 20.  
> \- The punishment for sexual assault of someone 13 or under is from 2 to 20 years of imprisonment. 
> 
> Annnd, that's all i can think of for now, but it's 02:21 AM and i might have missed something. I'll look chapter over in the morning, and add anything that comes to mind in future chapters to come, hopefully. 
> 
> Trigger warnings: - mentions of molestation (Rape/Non-con) it's non-graphic, but it's there so please be careful.  
> \- mentions of depression and anxiety.  
> I can't think of anything else? Please comment if i missed something that might cause you trouble in the future! 
> 
> Good day, everyone! I really appreciate feedback if you can! Comment you thoughts, please and thank you!

~~~

 

Little girls with dreams grow up to become women with vision.

  * Unknown.



 

~~~

 

  Tokumatsu is six years old, and she is all wide eyes and childish innocence. She cries when she scrapes her knee, when she's away from her mother too long, when one of her classmates tease her, and _everyone_ thinks she's weird.  

 

Tokumatsu is five years old, lonely and alone, desperately wanting approval, and far too pretty for her own good.

 

This is how it happens;

   

    Tokumatsu is starved ( _from touch, from approval, from attention,)_ and desperate, and even if she weren’t five years old, the talk she would’ve gotten about sex would have been disturbingly mirroring the same thing she hears from the mouth of her assaulter, from his attitude, the way he acted, still acts, as if she owes him, as if he _owns_ her. (How she’s just so pretty, her hair so long and her eyes all bright and her skin just so warm and so smooth.)

 

This is how it stops;

 

  Not really, never fully, even when it stops, it doesn’t _end_. Always remaining a part of her, a _thing_ of shame inside of her. ( _Chipping away at the remains of her heart, until she’s not too sure whether it’s all that’s left of her or whether that was all there ever really was.)_

 

This is how she deals; some days she doesn’t, somedays it drags her down, keeps her tied to the bed, her bones too heavy to lift with the weight of her depression.

 

This is how she deals; all of her showers are cold, because being warm is a terrifying reminder of hot breath on her nape; because he always liked how warm she was.

 

This is how she deals; not all the time, sometimes she doesn’t deal at all, gets out of bed, eats her breakfast, kisses her mother goodbye and goes to school, sits through the lectures numbly, doesn’t even have the energy to flinch when one of the teachers gets too close to her.

 

This is how she deals; not alone, never alone.

 

This is how she heals;

 

 Slowly, gradually, seemingly fine one day and not the next. This is how she heals; all of her life, it never starting being _okay_. It isn’t expected of her to be.

 

It never leaves her; but the furious shame of it isn’t festering inside of her anymore.


End file.
